This once verdant ground is now wrecked by the passage of time. My terrible nemesis looms before me, inevitable and devastating. Many have fallen to it, but I will overcome. Oh, Elden Ring? I was talking about male pattern baldness. It will eventually destroy all that was once beautiful about my hairline, but at least I’ll have five fancy new hairdos to pick from when the open world RPG’s newest free update releases this Thursday, 20th of June. There’s also some QOL tweaks to inventory management and summoning pools, but I can’t wear those, can I?
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