How would you explain Nic Cage's bootleg Five Nights At Freddy's movie to a medieval peasant?

It’s a common, fun thought experiment to imagine how you might go about explaining a television or a phone to a medieval peasant. The prospect is challenging, but feels ultimately achievable through the fundamental commonality of the human experience. The thought of explaining “the pending release of a Nicolas Cage film that is legally distinct from the PC game Five Nights At Freddy’s, but which is also 100% an adaptation of said game”, however, makes me want to burst into tears. There are just so many layers of pop culture context accreted in that concept, so much information that is meaningless without a full understanding of the rest, that I just can’t think where to begin.

But you know what? Let’s try. You be the peasant: I’m going to give this my best shot.

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