The Sunday Papers

Sundays are for realising that this is speeder racing. No, not podracing. You're not skilled enough for that yet. You've got to get your reps in to be the best of the best on the tracks of the galaxy far, far away. You've got to beat Ary Quill, Griff Halloran, Soren Zaks, Katja Mox, and the rest. But it's futile. Because you won't beat one crocodile-shaped little creature. YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT BIDDY BLAS. HE WILL BLAS PAST YOU IN A BLAS OF GLORY, BIDDYING YOU FAREWELL AS HE ROCKETS BY. HE IS THE GREATEST RACER WHO EVER LIVED. HE IS THE STAR WARS: GALACTIC RACER, AND THE FORCE SHINES OUT OF HIS BIDDY BOTTOM.

Oh, you're challenging him to a race? Prefer to be BIDDYLASTED INTO OBLIVION.

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Gargantuan cop immersive sim Militsioner now has an acrophobia-inducing demo, and yes, I did somehow manage to fail the tutorial

Excitedly, I boot up the new demo for Militsioner, a game I've had a watchful eye on since its announcement. A phone rings, it's my lawyer. I don't know why I've been arrested, but with the shattering of my balcony window I quickly know one thing: there's a giant motherf**king cop that won't let me leave this town. He (always referred to as HE) starts to grill me. He tires of the questions, asking me to vocally consent to staying put and forgo any attempt at escaping. I refuse. I fail the tutorial. "Oh," I say to myself. "So this is gonna be a good video game, huh?"

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Oh lord, now those GTA 6 leakers are saying if enough of you give them money they'll leak a playable build of the game

You can wait another month and some change to play GTA 6, right? I mean, everyone reading this who has a console, anyway, still no bloomin' sight of a PC release date. In any case, I'm sure you can wait, and I'm sure you wouldn't be silly enough to give Cyberleek, that hacker lot who've been leaking clips from the impending industry ending game for a good while now, money in their own cryptocurrency just to play it, right? Because that's what the group is asking you to do.

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Nivalis Nights might not have any combat, "but that doesn't mean it's a cosy game," so says its lead writer

Discourse notwithstanding, there is a time and a place for cosiness in games. It's nice to chill out sometimes! I can admit that. I also just prefer a bit of friction in a game, something to put the edge on occasionally, even if there is cosiness to be found within it. And according to the lead writer of Nivalis Nights, Thomas Welsh, you can find some of that cosiness, it just isn't a cosy game, and you have to put some work in to get it.

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Resident Evil inspired, cannibal dungeon crawler Medium Rare has a delightful art style trick up its sleeve: stock photos

I've spoken here before how the ultimate way to rope me into checking your game out is by having a nebulously designed Strong Vibe, a look that immediately sets it apart before I even know what any mechanics might be, and Medium Rare, a Resident Evil inspired dungeon crawler RPG about rescuing your wife from a human meat factory, has a deliciously nasty vibe. And its crunchy look has some inspired origins: stock photos.

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What are we all playing this weekend?

The descent into autumn continues: this week I slept with an extra blanket on the bed. I'm not into swapping the duvet out for the winter tog yet, I'll be holding off on that until at least December, but the laying of the first blanket is a true marker of autumn's arrival.

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Timeloop metroidvania Echo Weaver is the brave game that locks almost nothing off and challenges you to break it

Writing about new 2D timeloop metroidvania Echo Weaver is tricky because most - possibly all - of what you need to complete it is available to you the very second you first wake up, deep in the charnelpools of an ethereal and shattered lunar civilisation.

The plot in brief: you are a perpetually rewinding robot boy on a mission to work out what the hell happened. You'll explore overgrown biomes, investigate busted machines, run errands for a handful of scrappy, splashy-hued aliens, and conjure holographic flashbacks that cover the circumstances of your own creation. Developers Moonlight Kids stress that the only thing you really gain in the course of all this is knowledge. There are a few upgrades to gather, but no core skills to unlock. Instead, it's all there for you to learn, whether by reaching a tutorial area or just by hitting buttons at random and messing with terrain fixtures.

As such, my telling you about abilities really does risk ruining it, much like explaining the behaviour of celestial bodies in Echo Weaver's great influence, Outer Wilds. So if you're strongly inclined to buy the game – my verdict after four hours: a vivid and thoughtful, freeform Metroidy puzzler with refreshingly minimal combat and a few rough edges - maybe get your feet wet before reading on.

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