I love the Dark Soulful architecture of The Canon of Balls, a rolling open world game inspired by Sega, Fumito Ueda and Minecraft parkour

What do Dark Souls, Super Monkey Ball, Shadow of the Colossus, and Minecraft have in common? They are all explicit inspirations for The Canon of Balls, a spooky and unforgiving new open world platformer in which you are a horrified statue's face with a fleshy pink tongue, floating inside a rolling cage. You can use your tongue as a springboard.

Look, stay with me on this. I think The Canon of Balls could be good. Yes, I know that we've done "Dark Souls in a ball" already this month, but I think this game stands apart. It reminds me a little of Straftat in being a very specific, even obstinate throwback project that's less about nostalgia - less about sheer recreation, and more the feeling that a deserted vein of weirdness has more to give, that there's another future down here somewhere.

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Total War: Warhammer 3 is getting a big free vampiric update in September, alongside the epithet-stuffed Lords of the End Times DLC

Creative Assembly have announced a release date for Total War: Warhammer 3 expansion Lords of the End Times. Consisting of four new legendary lords, each with a distinct retinue, campaign and battle map abilities, it's billed as "the biggest DLC that we’ve ever released in the series 10-year history". It'll accompany another, reportedly gargantuan free update with yet another legendary lord, the Vampire Queen Neferata, together with a rework for the Vampire Counts and Archaon The Everchosen, some new endgame scenarios, and updated victory conditions.

There are over a hundred legendary lords in Twarhammer 3 at this point. I feel like the legendariness is at risk of being diluted. Can we organise some kind of spin-off game where every Warhammer army consists entirely of legendary lords? How about the legendary lords all go live on a big New England college campus and solve mysteries together? How about a Warhammer legendary lord adaptation of Guess Who?

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Invisum Piscium 嫌魚 is a dreamlike walking sim about fragments of conversations and a deep craving for water fish haven't procreated in

I won't dive into why this is happening to me at the moment, you'll either need to pay me £20 or let me pay you to be my therapist to get that explanation, but I've been having some odd dreams lately. They're frequently temporally confused, mixing and matching people from across my life that should never have crossed paths. This has left me looking to ground myself a touch, so of course I decided to take a look at Invisum Piscium 嫌魚, a walking sim that's not quite about dreaming, but is about looking for distilled water that's free from fish sex contamination.

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Necrons are "extremely arrogant aliens that feel like they cannot die," so their weakness in Dawn of War 4 is an obvious one: greed

Dawn of War 4's Necrons are the hard nuts of Warhammer 40,000. Each one of their soldiers is a >soul trapped in a living metal body, practically immortal thanks to the faction's reanimation technology. Like a clothes moth infestation, once they've made their home on a planet, they're virtually impossible to get rid of. They lend themselves to wars of attrition, constantly expanding their borders while absorbing enemy attacks.

"Players love this type of playstyle," Dawn of War 4's senior game designer Elliott Verbiest tells me, "but it's something that isn't necessarily conducive to interesting multiplayer gameplay. It's kind of the same deal as rock, paper scissors where both players are just throwing rock over and over and over again."

To counter this, developers King Art Games have introduced a chink in the Necron's armour, and it's a very human impulse: greed.

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Twitch are scraping streams for AI training by default, and even their own execs don’t know what user data may have been swept up

Livestreaming giants Twitch have admitted using streamed content to train the generative AI models of parent company Amazon. While it’s not clear when the platform began feeding its users’ work into Jeffy B’s Planetkilling Machines, yesterday’s announcement of an opt-out toggle – buried deep within Twitch’s security settings, and set to enable AI stream-gobbling by default – sparked outrage among streamers and viewers that such scraping was occurring at all.

Twitch’s chief product officer Mike Minton and head of community Mary Kish were wheeled out to explain the policy in a stream of their own, though it’s possible the only ones reassured by the discussion were the Amazon bots themselves. Although Minton was upfront about the models’ use of streamed video, he conceded that he didn’t know if users’ personal data had also been caught up in the scraping net, and that he wasn’t actually sure what Amazon "has done in terms of model training." Awesome. Awesome.

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All Haul The King is a co-op comedy corpse-dragging simulator from the makers of Eclipsium, one of 2025's best horror games

"That game with the massive dead body was created using generative AI!" roared the masses. "Oh shucks," said I, "Don't worry, I'll soon find another massive dead body game to write about." Reader, never let it be said that I am not as good as my word. In All Haul The King, players team up to drag the huge, elastic carcass of a goblin sovereign from one end of the world to the other. Your goal is to get him onto the Throne of Resurrection. This might go easier if you transform him into an anvil. Anvils don't wobble around quite so much, after all. Here is a trailer.

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Spaceship bullet heaven Seven Suns of Orion has what Vampire Survivors lacks: semi-Newtonian physics and railguns

I don't truly want to say a bad word about Vampire Survivors. I've adored the many hours I've spent in its endearingly slapdash dungeons. It's also responsible for spawning a thousand imitators, many of which I have also poured hours of my life into playing. But, for all of its joys and successes, I can't defend its lack of railguns.

I don't know what Poncle were thinking when they let you loose on a world filled with monsters and ghouls and didn't arm you with an electromagnetic gun that launches projectiles at more than 3 km/s.

It may not be a stake doused in holy water, but I reckon the railgun in Seven Suns Of Orion would do just as good of a job against Dracula.

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