Be honest with me: when you read the words "Lovecraftian dating sim", did your mind go straight to a joke about tentacle porn? Horror-themed dating sims are not exactly new, but it's rare to be given the opportunity to date the eldritch gods themselves, and taken at face value, it's hard to imagine where else this could be going.
Well, allow me to dispel your illusions right away: Sucker For Love: First Date is not an H-game. It is, in fact, the most chaste dating sim I think I've ever played, while also managing to be the most obscenely graphic. You often hear games that straddle different genres accused of not knowing what they're trying to be. Sucker For Love does not suffer from this issue: it knows exactly what it wants to be. The challenge is for you, the hapless player, to keep the hell up.
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