Goat Simulator 3 review: more than the sum of its fart noises

In the Tom Waits song The Piano Has Been Drinking, the gravel-voiced pianist imitates a pissed-up lounge singer, slurring his way through nonsense lyrics, pounding on the keyboard, and occasionally hitting all of the wrong notes. Drinking too much wine and playing the piano badly and getting chased out of a hotel lobby is easy — most of us could do it — but it takes a degree of talent to sound entertainingly rubbish.

Likewise, Goat Simulator 3 is an expertly janky game about being a silly little goat and running around causing mischief. It’s a dumb, open-world simulator in which bugs have been promoted to features. Your goat is a horrible little kooky guy who mostly interacts with the environment through the medium of headbutts and licking. They’ll occasionally be catapulted into the sky by a spasmodic police car, or have their head irreversibly enlarged by a special machine, or bleat so hard at a beanstalk that it vanishes into thin air, but even during the most chaotic moments things feel entirely under control. As though the invisible hand of a very, very tired QA tester is always on the tiller.

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