Tickets please, folks. No ticket? That's okay, you can buy one for £3000. Yes, that is a single. A return is £12 million. Listen, that's just how much trains cost in England now. No? Suit yourself, if you really think you can enjoy all the gilded luxury of the London to Brighton service through the magic of video games, be my guest, but I don't believe you can. Games will never replicate the thrill of dipping into your pension to stand in a virulent, low-energy mosh pit for two hours. Not even these 10 best trains in PC games can simulate that. All aboard!
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